The Woody
by Spoot Poot
Summary: The boys are all hunted down by a psychopath... CRACK WARNING!
Spoot: Don't you dare…

Heero: *Tightens ropes* You're out of control!

Spoot: I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU GOT ME IN THE NAUGHTY CHAIR!

The Woody

Heero sat at the table, calmly sipping his coffee and enjoying the light end of spring rain. He watched the droplets hit the window with that little pitter pat and he sighed. What a perfect morning. Nothing could ruin it. Not even Duo. He was about to take a sip of his java when something ugly came into his field of vision. It looked like an old cowboy doll. His eyes went wide as it spoke "THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!" Heero jolted in his seat and the hot coffee went all over him as he fell back, hitting the floor. Duo laughed so hard he almost tooted. "You like it! I rigged it so it only says that, really loud…in Super Mario's voice!" Duo sang out, pleased with his invention. Apparently…Heero was wrong…Duo could ruin it all.

"I like the pink one." Quatre said sweetly as he wrapped his arms around Trowa from behind. The said man pat his lovers little pale hands and looked at the painting he was about to finish. He just needed to add the perfect shade of pink as requested. Nothing could upset those two when they were like this. Nothing could go wrong. They were enjoying the perfect lover's moment. Trowa pulled away and started working on the pink bubble gum looking trees when a cowboy doll flew into the room. "THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY BOOT!" It bellowed. Quatre panicked and latched onto Trowa who flailed, thus upsetting the paints. There they were…sitting on the floor, Quatre's head covered in greens and blues…Trowa's head had impaled the painting. He looked like a giant fighting off trees with his mouth.

Wufei backed into a corner and sunk down low, a knife in hand. He was breathing hard. He knew what was coming; he had heard the horror stories from his team. Duo was on a manic kick and out for blood and sanity. He looked to his left then to his right and sighed. No one but him now. He had been avoiding Duo for over three hours now, and doing a pretty good job. He sat up with a startle, brandished the butter knife with a shaky hand, and slashed at the air. He heard Duo's voice calling out to him. He let out a short muffled scream and scrambled to his feet, taking off blindly through the house. There was no way he was going to be a victim, no way!

After another 32 hours of no Duo, Wufei had begun to let his guard down. Mostly due to lack of sleep and his hunger growing with each passing hour. He slid down the wall and sat on the floor. He was in his room, huddled in a corner. The mattress he slept on was now blocking the door and a dresser…and a broom…and a pillow…and a book. Just one…Pride and Prejudice. It was a thick book, it would do. Wufei sighed slowly and relaxed himself. He looked out toward the window and smiled. The sun was about to go down. He could actually feel the bags under his eyes. He watched a bird land and flitter about. How sweet and innocent it looked. Maybe…just maybe, the madness was over. His smile grew. Yes, it was over. He rested his head on the window and closed his eyes to sleep.

All hell broke loose when a doll came crashing through the window screaming about snakes in boots. Wufei screamed…like a little girl and launched up, grabbing the doll. He shook it. "WHO SENT YOU!" He bellowed. The doll stared at him blankly with big…haunting eyes. Who would make such a toy? This would scare children. He was losing his mind. I mean, was the doll even there? Was it even real? Was _he_ even real… "Whoa…" Wufei gasped out as he lowered the doll, staring out into a void. "That's some deep thinkin' there…." He said to himself. "I mean, if I'm not real…then this isn't happening…and that means…the doll isn't in my hand…" He looked down, and sure enough, the doll was gone. He sighed and relaxed. That was until…Duo pulled the string once more…sending Wufei to his grave.

Spoot: I'M SORRY! It's not my fault!

Heero: You only have yourself to blame…just take your time out.

Spoot: I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!


End file.
